drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
