that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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