How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
