i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my being single is dangerous.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
