omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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