Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
