Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
