i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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