If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
