all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
