My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sext me about skeletons
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
