you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
