I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
