Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
