OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
