I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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