is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
