so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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