ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
