I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
