everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
