fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
