Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
