it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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