if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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