I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
