Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
