i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
