he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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