Pappa wants mamma naked
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize