i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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