Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
