I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
