I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
