oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
