You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize