You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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