have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
