Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
