Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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