dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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