Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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