hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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