I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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