ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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