My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i now understand why vodka
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize