he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
