Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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