for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
