we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
