life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
