And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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