Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
