I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
