I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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