Where did you get a picture of my penis
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
