I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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