So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
