dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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