i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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