he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
