Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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