what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
