John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
