remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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