Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
