And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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