You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
