you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
