quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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